


Always

by OrilliaOrange



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Unrepentant Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-04-16 06:03:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4613937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrilliaOrange/pseuds/OrilliaOrange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Varric makes a promise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Always

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vehlr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vehlr/gifts).



“I see the way you look at me when you think I won’t notice,” Cassandra says.

 

A denial’s partway past Varric’s lips. He has it all set up- deny, crack a joke, smile and hope she’s pissed off enough to leave it at that. It’s not a good plan, but it’s all he’s got.

 

Cassandra stands before him, with the campfire flickering behind her so he can’t see her face. But he can read her body language, can see the nervousness she’s not bothering to hide.

 

All of a sudden, in the uncertain light of the fire and the frigid air of the Emprise, Varric is bone tired. Red lyrium sings to him even now, the chill of it lurks in his body. The world is going to hell, and he loves Cassandra Allegra Portia Calogera Filomena Pentaghast. Deny it all he may, to the others and to himself, it will still be true.

 

So why is it he can’t tell her, that he keeps her at arms’ reach? It’s exhausting to push her away every day when all he really wants is to draw her close, to hold her and let himself be happy?

 

There are a thousand reasons why not, and Bianca makes up at least ten of them. But she’s nowhere near the top five. That’s all him.

 

Varric’s self aware enough to know that there’s nothing stopping him. Nothing but his own fear, his timid heart. Brave enough when it comes to battle, to thumbing his nose at the Merchant’s Guild, the Carta, to anyone who looks at him and sees only the last son of disgraced House Tethras.

 

There’d been a time when he’d thought Cassandra only saw the image he carefully cultivated. But for a Seeker, and for a woman who’d bought the story he’d sold her, she’s more perceptive than he gave her credit for. Cassandra sees beneath his exterior, and wants to know him.

 

He’s long known that, stern and stubborn as she is, Cassandra’s heart is warm and loyal. The kind of heart you treasure forever.

 

The kind of heart he can’t have.

 

He might have been staring at her when she wasn’t looking, but she’s the one who started it.

 

She’s the one who has the ear of the Inquisitor. The one Mae trusts most.

 

The woman Mae’s backed to be Divine.

 

There is little mercy in this post Breach world. But Varric thinks he can spare them this. To love her from afar, and lose her to the Chantry isn’t the worst fate. But to love her, to have her and know the sweetness of her body, the heat of her love, and lose her anyways?

 

Varric has come second too many times before, and never has he felt comfort in that old truism that it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved before.

 

The Chantry needs a woman like Cassandra.

 

Not more than he needs her.

 

She stands before him, and Varric’s pretty sure that the wanting will never stop. That he’ll feel the lack of her for the rest of his life.

 

“Varric?” Cassandra says.

 

His resolve breaks when her voice does.

 

He hopes never to hear his name said with such blatant agony ever again.

 

Cassandra’s gloved hand is cold against his skin. Her fingers curve around his cheek, his lips pressed against her palm.

 

They fall together, and all Varric’s cowardly thoughts of sacrifice and honour drift away with the smoke from their campfire. Cassandra’s body envelops his, her long arms wrapped around him so tightly he can’t take a full breath.

 

“I didn’t think you-” Cassandra starts.

  
Her face is buried in the crook of his neck, the words come out muffled against his skin.

 

“I didn’t think you’d ever- for me,” she says.

 

“I couldn’t stop, could never…” Varric murmurs into her hair. “Cassandra.”

 

The fire flickers. The soft light of dawn blooms on the horizon. In the pale light, Cassandra cups Varric’s face in both hands. The kiss they share is the most wonderful, heartstopping experience of his life.

 

“Stay,” Cassandra says.

 

He can’t feel the cold, nor hear the red lyrium’s sweet song. There’s only her, only Cassandra. Whatever happens, wherever she goes, if she wishes it he will stay at her side forever.

 

“Always,” he says.

 

 


End file.
